Summer in January

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Smells like summer

I'm sitting in the sun reading, while Dan cuts the grass. I love the smell of freshly cut grass...weeds...they smell the same.

Bear is napping upstairs and I'm really wishing my Jacci and lindsay were here right now to share some margaritas.

Summer will bring sun, margaritas, and my cousins. The countdown is on.


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30

"No wise man ever wished to be younger."

Bring it on!


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January Pictures

Am I a "Regressive"?

I'm teaching the American Dream.

It really got me thinking about my dreams when I was in high school. I remember them clearly because I was very sure of what I wanted. I knew that I absolutely wanted to work. I knew I would be educated and be able to take care of myself. I wanted to be independent and strong. I also knew what I didn't want.

I didn't want to be a stay-at-home mom. I just knew it wouldn't be satisfying enough for me. I had to be doing something to influence the world. Save the world, even. In my off-time from teaching (ha! this is funny already), I pictured myself writing and volunteering. Maybe take a year "off" so I could join the Peace Corp. While in Africa I could teach, write, AND save the world. Yes, yes, I had a dream. My plans were BIG - and why not? I am a woman!

I have not given up on my dreams. I still have them - more now that I ever had at 18. And my dreams are still of teaching. But in these dreams, I am a stay-at-home mom. I can witness every moment of my Charlie's life and read to him and cuddle him and teach him to be a gentle, compassionate man. I can write while he's taking naps, reflect on Charlie's milestones and the random thoughts that go through my head. I could make dinner (I know, ME?!, but I made a resolution to cook daily and it's actually been a whole lot of fun - seriously, WHO is this girl???). I could keep the house sparkling clean and take my main man to the park before Dan gets home. Then, when he walks in the door calling out, "Honey! I'm home" I can waltz to the door and greet him in my heels. (Okay, I'm not going to go THAT far, but doesn't that SORT of sound nice?)


I used to be so progressive but now I feel, well, a little regressive. I'm not going to say I wish it was 1950 because, well, I AM educated and there was more wrong that right during that time BUT what I will say is that I think a balance it sort of nice.


I originally started this blog a few years ago because I wanted to always know who I was. I didn't want to lose myself once I became a wife and a mom. The funny thing is, I don't feel lost at all. In fact, for the first time, I feel like I found just who I always wanted to be.

on turning 30

i remember having a semi break-down on my 25th birthday. i wasn't married, i didn't have kids, and didn't own a home. not really where i had planned to be at 25. the future seemed uncertain.

i'm definitely one of those people that made mistakes. fell along the way. questioned who i was and who i wanted to be. 25 = not so good.

but 30! i don't feel freaked out at all. i'm happy. just where i want to be at 30 and i finally realized that if i had been there at 25, i'm not sure it would have lasted.

last week in my twenties. sayonara!

This is what I'm looking at right now:



:)

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Daily Reminder

The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.

I just love good quotations.


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Best of 2010

Yeah, I know I'm late on the NY reflection but - if there is one thing I've learned about being a mom - you gotta be flexible. Better late than never, right? Right.


I'm going to focus on the BEST of 2010 in a 500 Days of Summer kind of way. Who wants to remember anything negative? Not me! (or that kid from the movie).


Best Moment : (Duh, this one is obvious) - When Charlie was born. His little pink face. His perfect little fingers and toes. His blue eyes. His daddy so proud. Love at first sight? I'm a believer!


Best Book: The Handmaid's Tale. Dystopia. Future. Feminism. Really fabulous writing. How did I miss this one for so long?!


Best Conversation: Car ride to Redlands with Jess. A long car ride with three kiddos (and one on the way) would seem like a car ride to hell. But  - after we got them all strapped in, gave them treats from Starbucks, and got on the road, all babes fell asleep and Jess and I drank tea and let it all spill out. Ah.


Best Song: Wonder by Colin Meloy of the Decemberists.  Lyrics about the weird and wonderful aspects of being pregnant. We played this in the hospital and it brought everyone to tears.


Best Realization: It keeps getting better. and better and better. Thanks for that, Charlie.